Wait Nong Nong

it’s been way too long since i last touch my blog.

its 2012 now, and things aren’t really looking great for me.

career as a product marketing executive in singtel seems to be going well i hope.

but as usual, love is the reason i’m feeling so terrible lately.

i’m such a love fool.

i need to change. need to improve.

sometimes i feel like i’m not being myself, which is rather scary.

or perhaps to face the truth, that could be who i really am.

i have to stop living in self-denial, and be less affected by every single little things.

i ought to look at the bright side, which i always advise people to.

practice what i preach eh. i wish i could.

 

despite everything, i’m not giving up on you, E.

Fix Me

fix me.

can you fix me?

i’ve been waiting so long to feel this heartbeat.

Kick Start My Life!

remember the lucky numbers from the $60k cab fare on the previous post? i actually strike consolation last sunday, a pathetic $60 but better than nothing i guess! and i scored a sad C- for my FYP stage 2. i so need to buck up!

GOOD NEWS, my physiotherapist has already delcared that i can go back to playing soccer! even though its only “light” soccer cause its advisable i don’t push myself too much. it still made my day. i really can’t believe it’s been 8 months since my knee reconstruction operation. i’ve been waiting for this day for too long. far too long. i can’t wait to get my fitness back first before playing more aggressive field soccer with rowdees in the ESPZEN league. feel as if i have woken up from a long terrible dream.

to top it off, mom and bro was at malaysia earlier today so they manage to buy new kicks for me as my old one was already destroyed long ago as much as i can remember. i still need a pair of new soccer boots soon.

new adidas F50. how bright can it get?

FYP Stage 2

i’m so glad FYP stage 2 is over for now. as usual, the last minute rushing isn’t funny, i only had a couple of hours of sleep. oh well, that’s what we get for being designers in the first place. still, there’s so much i need to touch up on as the review from the lecturers aren’t fantastic at all. i just hope i can get at least a C+ minimum?

lately, i don’t know why. but i’ve been clubbing way too much! it’s bad! mostly because i am fucking broke. too much debts on hand, i wish i could strike 4D. hopefully the lucky numbers i got from the $60k cab fare can grant me so wealth this weekend. fingers crossed.

on a side note, life is still pretty mundane for now. but its all i could have wished for. with the unusuals by my side all these while and not forgetting my 3B classmates and sista XL plus gang. at least now i have more plans than before. however, something is still missing. that lingering feeling.

okay, better buy my 4D now before i forget!

in the mean time, here’s some photo update.

korean bbq the other time with alex, sean, josh, aisyah, grace, clar and hy at 2D1N Soju Bang.

pedal carting at west coast park with alex, josh, jeanie and elena.

mini primary 6 class gathering at timbre last wed.

2 rounds of dinner and dessert last night with the unusuals.

Where Did You Go?

at the moment, life is looking grey. i don’t know why.

i’ve been stoning for far too much, far too long.

i ought to resume on my FYP and other assignments but i am just so fucking lazy.

where did my inspiration go?

where did my motivation go?

and where did you go?

Only One Who Can Keep Me Alive

The night has come again,
And still, I am alone-
This time more than ever.
A feeling I had never felt before
And I don’t want to remember.
It’s taking a hold of me now
You drove in town to see me,
But you turned into a messenger
Oh, with news I never thought would hit my ears.
It’s now numbing me inside
(?) me from this life and I,
Want so badly to disappear.

Maybe someday I can stand again.
Maybe soon, I can learn to wash my hands of this and start anew.
But I need you now to mend my heart
Because you’re the only one that can keep me alive tonight. (tonight [x5])

You’re everything to me:
My whole world, entire being,
The one thing I hold true in my life.
What made you do this to me?
Did you want me to set you free?
It tears me up inside, every night.

Maybe someday I can stand again.
Maybe soon, I can learn to wash my hands of this and start anew.
But I need you now to mend my heart
Because you’re the only one who can keep me alive tonight.

And everything will be just fine.
(I just wanted to be perfect, I just wanted to be perfect)
And everything will be just fine.
(I just wanted to be perfect, I just wanted to be perfect)

Maybe someday I can stand again. (and everything will be just fine)
Maybe soon, I can learn to wash my hands of this and start anew.
But I need you now to mend my heart (and everything will be just fine)
Because you’re the only one that can keep me alive tonight.

FYP Stage 1

like a tumor off my brain, FYP stage 1 evaluation is over! not to forget we waited HOURS for our turn to present to the lecturers, but oh well, i guess we are just glad that it’s done. sadly, i didn’t think i did well for it as my art direction is still somewhat raw as commented by the lecturers. damn. this 20% is gonna hurt. i need to buck up!

for your information, my FYP topic is X-mini capsule speakers. to think of it now, i have a feeling it is not gonna be easy to execute. why did i choose this topic in the first place! argh.

at the moment, life seems mundane. everyday is just the same old routine. somehow i don’t look forward to school as i usually do. pfft. i. need. to. stop. whining.

on the bright side, i’m looking forward to working as backstage assistant for laneway festival this saturday. however i initially need to sacrifice 2 school days (thursday and friday) to set up the event. but luckily, friday’s lesson has been cancelled! so missing 1 day  of school maybe ain’t that bad since i’m being paid $360 for the entire event plus free converse chuck taylor low cut shoe! hohoho.

i dread FYP.